Life In General

Hi guys! I find myself in a mood and feel the need to "take up my pen". It's been a rough couple of weeks, capped off by a rough evening. As any working mom knows, we are all exhausted from balancing work, home, kids, and hubby. This week it has taken a toll on me; more so than usual. By Friday I am generally emotionally and mentally spent from the constant juggling it takes to be success at work and home. This week it hit me on Monday.

My boss went out of town at the end of last week and we have had an easy few days at the office. We caught up on a few overdue projects and got ourselves more organized. We all love this time to regroup; but I was tired- and irritated. I wanted to be on vacation. I wanted to be spending time with my family. I found myself jealous- of being away from the office. Of all things I could envy- money, vacations, cars- I envied time with my kids. So I took off today (Fri) to spend with the kids and Nathan.

Two hours into the morning I wanted to be at work. My day did not go according to plan at all. Nathan decided he didn't want to do anything outside the house since he was tired and hadn't had a day off this week. He came home and went to sleep. Micah and Hannah waged a two person war on my sanity- and they won. The laundry overwhelmed me, the kitchen floor disgusted me, the carpet enraged me. Where is my nirvana?? Where is my haven?? I actually told Nathan I should have gone to the office; I would have done less work there. So now I find myself divided. The work at work is easier it seems than the work at home. But, when I am at work, the work at home is easier. How long does it take to find balance in the load? I am not unhappy with my life- it isn't what I planned but I've learned my plans count for little in this world- but I wish it were an easier walk. Maybe, eventually, I will figure it all out. I won't give up, though, in any way. I will continue to want to be home and want to be at work, juggle the kids and the files, serve my boss and my husband, and fight through this life until we find peace and balance. Or at least until I can find a way to keep the floor clean two days together, the laundry piles from growing into mini Everests, and a way to eat the leftovers BEFORE they mold.

This is my life, the cards I was dealt, and I am determined to take the house with this hand, even if I have to bluff my way to the end- and I've been told I'm good at bluffing! Night all! Keep spinning those plates and balancing on those balls. They tell me it's worth it in the end....let's just hope they aren't bluffing, too!

:) Bethany

P.S. Thanks for indulging my melancholy mood :)

July 4th

Well I'm already tardy with my post! For fourth of July we went to a lakehouse owned by my sister-in-law's mom. The Mapps (both sets) and the Eyes got together for a relaxing weekend. It was a lot of fun. The kids really enjoyed the lake. It was a change of scenery for all of us and the water felt wonderful. We managed to avoid sunburn (except for my shoulders) and no one drowned, so we called it a successful outing! :) Nathan and my brother and dad spent the weekend fishing. They caught quite a few catfish (thrown back for next time); Hannah even got a chance and landed the biggest catfish of them all! She had never fished before, so it was really exciting for her!

Micah was really strong in the water this time. His new floatie is great...it gives him more range of motion, so he is trying all kinds of new things. We were laughing at him, though, for wearing his goggles on his head- he never once put them over his eyes and threw a fit when I tried to show him how they work! LOL He is too funny! My sisters challenged me to swim races which proved how out of shape I am! I did beat Stacie! Sara out stroked me...but if her arms weren't longer than mine I would have won! :)

We shot off a few fireworks Saturday night, which everyone but Micah enjoyed. He insisted on being put to bed before the fireworks and borrowed Stacie's iPod to drown out the noise. We think that loud noises are associated in his mind with the seizures he used to have. They were sometimes triggered by startling him with touch or sound. I guess he will have to grow out of it. He is terrified of loud noises for now, though. We got up Sunday and leisurely packed up and headed back into the city....withering from the heat. This summer has been ridiculous! Even I am hot! If you know me, you know that is a rare state of being for me! My sweater or jacket is always handy.

All in all in was a fun weekend and was a relaxing way to spend the holiday. My sunburned shoulders have faded into a nice little tan and the kids are getting brown as little beans between Mom and Dad's pool, the lake, and the neighborhood pool. Maybe one day I'll be a brown as them!